Megret on Motherhood

I feel as if I give Gardner the utmost attention, catering to his every need before he even knows that he needs it, whatever it may be. Other days, like today, I feel slack. Feeling unwell, I struggled to make it through today, much less excel in the tasks set before me. Gardner was a trooper, doing so well at playing at his own when Mommy needed to sit down and rest for a while. Thank goodness for those lovely times when he is content just to sit in my lap and let me read books to him....quiet time for both of us is good. I know I cannot be Supermom, not just everyday, but at all. I'm human. There are some days when I feel as if I'm aspiring towards it, though. Then a day like today comes in with a slam and reminds me how mortal I am. I guess every mom struggles with those fleeting feelings of inadequacy. There's always the push to be better tomorrow. One thing I do know. No matter how rushed or rough our day may be, if I make time to sit down with him and read him a Bibl...

I found this out today. Everything is either too old (age-appropriate-wise), too big, too easy for him to eat or put in his mouth, too sugary, too salty, too expensive, too cheap, too tacky. But I had SO much fun researching and then searching for these tiny treasures to fill his stocking. I now know why Mom always said she had more fun filling our stockings than buying our other gifts....it was in the stockings that you can hide the most surprises, things that you pick out on your own, not things that your kids ask you to get them. I exited the store with a bag of things which made me smile with satisfaction.....finished and behind me. Gardner sat right in the shopping cart, looking sweetly at me in his little peacoat, not having a clue what all I just bought. This oblivious age sure is easy! I can remember some of the most fabulous stocking stuffers among my growing up years....they stick like glue to my memory. Slinkies, silly putty, little stick-on earrings, peel-off nail poli...

We did what I swore I'd never do....we bought Christmas cards that have a place for a family photo on the front. It's not that I don't like these things.....it's just I always said I'd never do it becuase they're too predictable, and not unique enough for our family. I gave in, and I'm glad I did. Our good friend Ben took photos of us yesterday, a brisk morning, at different outdoor spots around town. They turned out wonderfully, and I will post some soon. We emailed one to Walgreens for their one-hour photo service, and wow. They turned out so great! Gardner's pensive look is worth a million words (we couldn't get him to actually smile for a single pose.....but the pensive look runs a close second). So thanks, Ben , for taking the photos with your artistic expertise; they're fantastic. And let it go down in the record books that I, Meg, have surrendered to one of the things that giddy young parents do that they swore they'd never do. Stran...

First step: Decide to do it, and don't look back. Enough putting it off; I don't want to throw it onto Ken when he gets home from work, and I am physically able to move the furniture myself....so, why not? Step two: Draw out plans. Scratch them, draw them again. Admit that drawing out plans never actually helps; I usually have to move the furniture around two or three different ways anyway before I settle on an arrangement. Step three: Start moving small things into the hallway. Gardner thinks it's a party; he begins to run through the objects like an obstacle course, laughing....cats darting in and out between his little legs, too, freaked out. Step four: Get the dustbuster and windex. Start to vacuum behind where things used to be, and see Gardner running straight for me, laughing hysterically, thinking the dustbuster is the year's newest toy. Step five: Wipe down baseboards with windex. Turn around to see Gardner pulling out wipes from his wipes warmer one...

I think one of the many, many wonderful parts about being a parent is the joy of simple companionship. Some people may not have children who love to be out and about, but I am fortunate enough to have a baby who loves socialization. Staying in all day makes him cranky sometimes....he gets stir-crazy. He has to get out and run errands....it puts a smile on his face. I love riding down the road and looking back to see him "singing" along with the music. I love to look back at him at a stoplight and make him laugh with a silly face or expression. I love hearing him carry on small conversations with his stuffed dog as I drive here and there. My heart is so full, and I can't smile big enough. Errand running is no longer a chore...it's something I look forward to. Thanks, Gardner.

I am all about getting my shopping D-O-N-E. Last year, all but two gifts were bought before Thanksgiving....which led to a stress-free, wonderful, laid back month of December with family and friends. I'm purposefully on the track to repeat that this year, as well. Ken and I spent two days in Columbia this week, and I was able to get a jumpstart on my shopping. One of my favorite kid shops down there was Creative Kids, and I went through there like a mad woman, list in hand. Kids' toys are so great. I have always loved them....as a kid (duh), and then as a young adult as I worked in a specialty toy and clothing shop (and LOVED every minute of it). Then, you have your own child....and oh, the toy horizon is expanded one hundred-fold. Suddenly, "boring" toys like wooden puzzles seem like the world's greatest inventions. Loud, obnoxious, siren trucks and clickety-clack trains are suddenly the "cutest little thing you ever did see." Researching for education...

I was sitting yesterday, thinking about all of the things that I can now do (or have done) now that I'm a mom. Some of them are significant, some silly...but all of them are things I never dreamed of getting to do one day. I am so glad that I can. :) -- I can use the little front seat in the shopping cart for housing a cute little tush instead of just my shopping list and pocketbook....the occupant also makes for very fun, silly antics and play while going from aisle to aisle (built-in entertainment). -- I can go somewhere, anywhere, and not feel like I'm having to go "alone" if Ken or a friend can't accompany me. Though he can't speak yet, I fully articulate my feelings, observations, and thoughts-out-loud to Gardner as we drive to and fro, darting in and out of stores and such. -- I can add fish sticks and animal crackers to my repertoire of acceptable cupboard choices....without making people wonder. -- I can recall and re-sing to him all of the wonderful, ...

....it is almost as if the whole world stops turning. I say this because I have seen it growing up in our house as a kid. When Mom was sick, things were just....different. Glum. Not the same. I have felt sorry for Gardner today. I was on the couch all afternoon, flat on my back with a raging urinary track infection (you ladies who've had one know the pain I'm talking about). He napped for two hours, which was great (I napped, too). When he woke up, he was in a stupendous mood and was ready to play. I couldn't, though. I laid limply on the sofa, shutting the French doors to keep him contained with me in the den. I pulled out a myriad of toys, books, and kept the television on about all afternoon (which I HATE having to resort to....but at least it was Noggin and Baby Einstein). He played so well.....like a little man. He seemed to sense my sickness....he came over so many times and offered hugs and kisses. (Although his kisses have recently included a sharp BITE at the end ...

Last night, Ken and I dressed Little G up for our halloween jaunt. Oh, yes, he was a circus monkey, and oh yes, he was quite confused with all of the festivities. Not to mention that we kept him out until 8:45 pm (such a bad mom!), which is 1-1/2 hours past his normal bedtime! The poor little guy is still sleeping off his excitement from last night....he's usually wide awake by now. So I wondered while I was pushing his fists through the tiny arm hole openings on his costume, fastening the big-eared hat under his chin. What does he think we're doing to him? Does he look at all of the crazy stuff going on around him and say, "What kind of world is this, and WHO are these people?" What does he really think as he stares at us blankly as we all jump around him, making mock monkey sounds to see if he'll laugh? And going from door to door, house to house, holding out our candy bucket? That must seem insane. (Usually when you knock on someone's door, of course, you g...