Already
Already, only 15 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy, I am having feelings of "I don't feel pretty anymore." A person who's always struggled with her self-esteem, watching my belly expand and my regular clothes get tossed aside doesn't do great things for my ego. Don't get me wrong....being pregnant is wonderful in and of itself just because I know its purpose....and what awaits me at the end of the nine month journey. Yet, I think, never more than during pregnancy does a woman need to feel beautiful.
Ken tries so hard to make me feel that way. Sometimes words just don't do enough. For a while, I may revel in a compliment, but then a brief glance in a mirror will make those words die in mid-air, never sinking deep into my ears.
Still, he tries harder. Today I'm heading off to get something different done with my hair, urged by him to do something for myself for a change. This weekend, for my birthday, he's sending me off for a manicure. I may not feel beautiful right now, but I do feel blessed....with the most wonderful husband in the world.
Sometimes, feeling beautiful just has to come from something deep within....an inner drive to will and to believe that God has created me, and because of the fact I'm reflecting His image, I am beautiful. All that should matter is that I'm beautiful to Him. Vogue magazine didn't make me....neither did America's Next Top Model. Those things are fleeting. God's reflection of me is truer, brighter, clearer.
Just last night the girls and I were talking about the price of vanity. Yes, there are those who go great lengths to feel better about themselves. I am not against such things, but I do beg the question....is it something deeper? For me, I know my efforts are not superficial....or even to gain access into a group which I long to associate with (those attempts should die when high school is over with). It lies deeper within my heart, a deep desire to make the best of what God gave me, to please my husband which He gave me.
So, every day as I curse whoever it was who thought they could design cute and trendy maternity clothes (that's an oxymoron), I need to remember my higher calling. I am called to be a wife, a mother, a child of God. My worth should reside in those things, not in what the mirror tells me.
My heart sees this and knows it full well....now, just to get my head to follow suit.
Ken tries so hard to make me feel that way. Sometimes words just don't do enough. For a while, I may revel in a compliment, but then a brief glance in a mirror will make those words die in mid-air, never sinking deep into my ears.
Still, he tries harder. Today I'm heading off to get something different done with my hair, urged by him to do something for myself for a change. This weekend, for my birthday, he's sending me off for a manicure. I may not feel beautiful right now, but I do feel blessed....with the most wonderful husband in the world.
Sometimes, feeling beautiful just has to come from something deep within....an inner drive to will and to believe that God has created me, and because of the fact I'm reflecting His image, I am beautiful. All that should matter is that I'm beautiful to Him. Vogue magazine didn't make me....neither did America's Next Top Model. Those things are fleeting. God's reflection of me is truer, brighter, clearer.
Just last night the girls and I were talking about the price of vanity. Yes, there are those who go great lengths to feel better about themselves. I am not against such things, but I do beg the question....is it something deeper? For me, I know my efforts are not superficial....or even to gain access into a group which I long to associate with (those attempts should die when high school is over with). It lies deeper within my heart, a deep desire to make the best of what God gave me, to please my husband which He gave me.
So, every day as I curse whoever it was who thought they could design cute and trendy maternity clothes (that's an oxymoron), I need to remember my higher calling. I am called to be a wife, a mother, a child of God. My worth should reside in those things, not in what the mirror tells me.
My heart sees this and knows it full well....now, just to get my head to follow suit.
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