"Not until you clean your plate!"
Does anyone remember hearing this phrase as a child? I'm sure we've all heard it at one point or another. The rule in most families is that a child can't get down from the dinner table OR have dessert until their plate is totally clean.
I started challenging this idea when I became a parent. This does teach obedience....but can we not teach it another way? A better way that I've seen others do is, "You need to eat TWO more bites of green beans and ONE more bite of chicken, then you can get down." A smaller task is more easily accepted and completed by an individualistic toddler, of that I'm sure. The idea of having to eat 20 or more bites in order to clean the plate must seem like an overwhelming responsibility.....especially if they are really and truly getting full.
Another thing, too, I'm learning is that toddlers' tummies aren't as big as we probably think they are. "One teaspoon per food per year of age," our pediatrician spouts. That's WAY less than I used to think Gardner should be able to consume. Now our mealtimes are happier, and I don't have as many frustrating instances of having to throw tons of leftovers into the trash.
Forcing a child to always clean his or her plate may, too, cause them to not be able to decipher when they are really feeling full. Could this later lead to overconsumption, or even obesity? Maybe it's a far stretch, but it's one of the things I've been wondering.
Yesterday, I prepared a probably too-hefty portion of chicken salad and melba toast for Gardner's lunch. He was delighted at first and ate gingerly. After it was half gone, however, he lost interest, and began to walk around the room (we were eating at Ken's office). Later, when Ken and I had a scoop of ice cream in hand, Gardner suddenly re-focused. He pointed and made it obvious that he'd like some.
Part of me wanted to make him climb back up into his chair and scrape his plate clean first. Would a very full child turn down ice cream? Probably not. I figured this would cause him to overeat and feel badly afterwards.
So, Ken and I made the executive decision to let him have a small scoop of strawberry ice cream, and we ignored his half-eaten portion of lunch. Gardner enjoyed every spoonful.
Parenting is part science, part faith, and a whole lot of learning-as-you-go.
(**Just in case you're wondering, there is no true resolution to this. We're still learning, and trying to decide what's right, or what's right for our family. I am just spouting out all that I think about as I travel this road called "parenthood.")
I started challenging this idea when I became a parent. This does teach obedience....but can we not teach it another way? A better way that I've seen others do is, "You need to eat TWO more bites of green beans and ONE more bite of chicken, then you can get down." A smaller task is more easily accepted and completed by an individualistic toddler, of that I'm sure. The idea of having to eat 20 or more bites in order to clean the plate must seem like an overwhelming responsibility.....especially if they are really and truly getting full.
Another thing, too, I'm learning is that toddlers' tummies aren't as big as we probably think they are. "One teaspoon per food per year of age," our pediatrician spouts. That's WAY less than I used to think Gardner should be able to consume. Now our mealtimes are happier, and I don't have as many frustrating instances of having to throw tons of leftovers into the trash.
Forcing a child to always clean his or her plate may, too, cause them to not be able to decipher when they are really feeling full. Could this later lead to overconsumption, or even obesity? Maybe it's a far stretch, but it's one of the things I've been wondering.
Yesterday, I prepared a probably too-hefty portion of chicken salad and melba toast for Gardner's lunch. He was delighted at first and ate gingerly. After it was half gone, however, he lost interest, and began to walk around the room (we were eating at Ken's office). Later, when Ken and I had a scoop of ice cream in hand, Gardner suddenly re-focused. He pointed and made it obvious that he'd like some.
Part of me wanted to make him climb back up into his chair and scrape his plate clean first. Would a very full child turn down ice cream? Probably not. I figured this would cause him to overeat and feel badly afterwards.
So, Ken and I made the executive decision to let him have a small scoop of strawberry ice cream, and we ignored his half-eaten portion of lunch. Gardner enjoyed every spoonful.
Parenting is part science, part faith, and a whole lot of learning-as-you-go.
(**Just in case you're wondering, there is no true resolution to this. We're still learning, and trying to decide what's right, or what's right for our family. I am just spouting out all that I think about as I travel this road called "parenthood.")
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