Leaving you
I think one of the hardest parts of being a mom is figuring out the delicate balance between being there and getting away.
As mothers, we have chosen to take on the incredible responsibility of being there for our children and our husbands, day or night, 24/7. We are the ones who rise at 3am for the feedings in most cases....we are the ones who get the call from a scared child who's just had a bad dream....and we're also likely the one who's called when the child becomes ill or injured at school and needs to be picked up and taken home.
I love being needed. I'll just be completely honest about that....I love knowing that sometimes my touch is the only touch that will heal a little bruised heart. I love hearing the word, "Mommy." It never gets old to my ears. I love being the one who lovingly prepares and serves meals to my family....and who seeks with all her heart to provide a haven for a home for those who I love so much.
I don't know if anyone else feels this, but I will share it....sometimes I feel unable to tear away. I know that I need to sometimes....I need to relinquish my duties for a bit of rest and relaxation, even if it's just a ten minute break to refocus. I have realized it more by reading my current favorite book on the planet, "What Every Mom Needs." I am a mother, a wife, a homekeeper. I not only feel unable to leave sometimes, but unwilling. After all, things might fall apart. Either that, or my guilty conscience and heavy heart will drive me right back.
I have a hard time letting go of my daily duties to steal away and have an hour to myself, cup of coffee in one hand, good book in the other. I feel as if it's not other people's job to take care of my child.....it's mine. I chose to have a baby, and I am called to take care of him. Guilt moves in when I think about letting others give me a hand. It's not their place, and it shouldn't have to be. It's difficult to belive that some people simply want to, though, because they love Gardner and they love me. Why is it so hard for me to receive?
Is it pride? Self-discipline? Fear? Control? A little of all of these?
I do not have the answers. This is something I'm sure every new mom faces....probably more so, the stay-at-home moms who are at their childrens' every beckoned call.
To draw the line between being there and getting away....a hard line to draw. I'm sure I'll figure it out with God's help. Thank goodness for books such as this one who make me stare intently at the parts of me that need changing....or at least tweaking a little bit.
As mothers, we have chosen to take on the incredible responsibility of being there for our children and our husbands, day or night, 24/7. We are the ones who rise at 3am for the feedings in most cases....we are the ones who get the call from a scared child who's just had a bad dream....and we're also likely the one who's called when the child becomes ill or injured at school and needs to be picked up and taken home.
I love being needed. I'll just be completely honest about that....I love knowing that sometimes my touch is the only touch that will heal a little bruised heart. I love hearing the word, "Mommy." It never gets old to my ears. I love being the one who lovingly prepares and serves meals to my family....and who seeks with all her heart to provide a haven for a home for those who I love so much.
I don't know if anyone else feels this, but I will share it....sometimes I feel unable to tear away. I know that I need to sometimes....I need to relinquish my duties for a bit of rest and relaxation, even if it's just a ten minute break to refocus. I have realized it more by reading my current favorite book on the planet, "What Every Mom Needs." I am a mother, a wife, a homekeeper. I not only feel unable to leave sometimes, but unwilling. After all, things might fall apart. Either that, or my guilty conscience and heavy heart will drive me right back.
I have a hard time letting go of my daily duties to steal away and have an hour to myself, cup of coffee in one hand, good book in the other. I feel as if it's not other people's job to take care of my child.....it's mine. I chose to have a baby, and I am called to take care of him. Guilt moves in when I think about letting others give me a hand. It's not their place, and it shouldn't have to be. It's difficult to belive that some people simply want to, though, because they love Gardner and they love me. Why is it so hard for me to receive?
Is it pride? Self-discipline? Fear? Control? A little of all of these?
I do not have the answers. This is something I'm sure every new mom faces....probably more so, the stay-at-home moms who are at their childrens' every beckoned call.
To draw the line between being there and getting away....a hard line to draw. I'm sure I'll figure it out with God's help. Thank goodness for books such as this one who make me stare intently at the parts of me that need changing....or at least tweaking a little bit.
Comments
For the first time in 21 months my hubby and I went away overnight and I thought my heart was going to rip out of my chest as we drove away...(we stayed here in town)...I left my mom notes on every single thing I do.
This is a great post. Thanks! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
:-)
Hope you're doing well!!